Friday, March 22, 2013

Sick Room

 image from cartoonstock.com

This lovely winter brought on a stomach virus for lucky me. This “bug” lasted 3 days and I can tell you it was about hell on earth for me. Three weeks later, I caught it again! Blast that bug! Well if you've ever had the bug (and I'm sure nearly everyone on the planet has), you'll understand what I'm saying about the annoyances in the bathroom. First of all, you don't want to leave the bathroom because you know within minutes you'll be back in there. A cold, hard floor is no place to lie and wait for your next bout of (excuse me) trots of puke! As I went through this nasty virus again, my mind started reeling with ideas of the perfect “sick room”. Oh, it would be bathroom but it would be only for the sickness (diarrhea or vomiting). So allow me to explain.

My “sick room” would be a decent sized room and would include a toilet and a sink (next to each other) a recliner and a bed low to the ground (but not too low!). There would be carpeting but around the toilet would be a thick rubber mat (in case of, um, splatters). A water cooler would stand in the corner. The walls would be a warm, soft color – not too dark but not really light (who wants white walls!!).

The toilet would be a nice gold color (because lets face it, white is disgusting when you have pukes and trots) and would have auto flush - you would just have to say the word “done” so the toilet wouldn't flush too soon in case you aren't done puking (or pooping). The toilet would also have handles so you could grip while doing your deed.

The sink would be large enough to stick your head in, in case you needed to cool off, and would have automatic water turn-on and off so you don't have to touch anything (the same with the soap dispenser).

The bed and recliner would be for your comfort while you wait for your next round of trots or puke.

Soft music would play, like elevator music, to soothe you.

This is my image of a “sick room”. No more lying on a cold, hard floor. No more touching disgusting toilets. No more cold, bathroom feeling. And you could be quarantined from everyone else until you were healthy again.

TMI? Or genius!