Monday, December 22, 2014

Just Another Night Out......

So, yeah, about a week ago I vowed (publicly, no less) that I would never step foot in Walmart again. But thanks to my husband getting a corneal abrasion yesterday, I had to pick up his script at the pharmacy today because I haven't switched pharmacies yet.

But let me start at the beginning, as this doesn't entirely involve Walmart.

Tonight I had to finish Christmas shopping for my husband. My mother offered to drive to Utica with me but I declined saying I could get it done faster by myself. Yeah. Took just as long.

First store I went in was the worst. While looking for something specific, I stumbled upon an item that I had ordered online because the website said that particular store did not have any left in stock. No biggie except I ordered last minute and it will arrive after Christmas. I angrily put the item back on the shelf and in the process, slit my thumb on the corner of the metal rack. My thumb was bleeding so I dug into my purse because I knew I had a band-aid. While searching for a band-aid, I noticed a clerk walking by the aisle, staring at me. While applying the band-aid, she walked by again in a different direction. While stuffing the wrapper back into my purse, she walked down the aisle and asked if I needed anything. YES, $1,000.00 for distress thank-you-very-much GO AWAY!! I do believe she thought I was stealing.

Next, I stood in a particular aisle for about 10 minutes staring at an item on my husband's list, completely dumbfounded. Finally I smartened up and called my stepson who directed me to the correct item. Next year....GIFT CARDS!

As I went to go to the checkout counters, I became confused and somehow ended up in a dead end. I stood there...again, completely dumbfounded.....and finally turned around to walk the other way and noticed a woman nearby smirking at me. Forget YOU lady, how was I supposed to know it was a dead end?? Stupid store. I cashed out and left that store in a hurry.

After spending 10 minutes trying to get out of the New Hartford plaza, I finally made my way back to Herkimer. To Walmart.

While closing the door to my Jeep in the Walmart parking lot, the corner of the door slashed into my leg. It hurt. A lot. As I'm walking towards the store, I felt something warm on my leg and I knew it was bleeding. Whatever. Get the script and get OUT.

But of course I couldn't do that. I just HAD to pick up a few extra items. That went well until I needed help with something and the girl promised to send someone over to that aisle. I waited 5 minutes. A very, very slow employee (“slow” as in “slow moving, la-dee-da”) happened to be walking by so I snagged her. After showing her what item I wanted that was on display but not in a box, she promised to be right back. I waited (I kid you not) exactly 15 minutes in that aisle and I do believe I peed my pants a little, for you see, I had to go since Utica. And don't forget I was bleeding underneath my jeans. Incidentally, 10 minutes after waiting I heard on the loudspeaker someone calling for help in the section I was in. Thanks a lot.

The “slow” woman FINALLY sauntered over telling me “sorry” but they don't have any in stock.

BYE BYE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

One more stop. I was carrying a large item through the store and an employee walked in front of me, pretty much cutting me off, so while I was walking behind him I was thinking {evil thoughts} that I would love to shove my item in his backside. OOPS.............he stopped quick to make a turn and yes, my item went into his backside.

I am home now. Safe in my pink, fluffy pajamas, sipping on wine and eating a cookie.

So you see, I really should not be allowed in public alone. But at least I didn't pass gas this time!

 image from